In doing so, I came across this one (above photo); when you look at it what do you see? For the first time in a long time I looked at this photo of myself and saw a beautiful person with a lovely smile, this girl looked playful and happy. However, I remember in that moment I wasn't as happy as I should have been, I was still feeling ugly and disliking myself. How is it that I can reflect such a cheerful disposition and bubbly smile while beating myself up on the inside? These are questions I ask myself every day. I feel more ugly, lazy, unmotivated, and angry than I think I have in the longest time at this very moment and I just wonder why, why cant I see what everyone else sees, why can't I see the me that came out in this photo every day I look in the mirror?
The year is up, and yet again I have nothing to show for it. There are no really close unbreakable bonds I have forged, nor a career I have worked into, there is no schooling I have finished or money I have made. Every New Year I decide on a resolution to try harder to make money, to be more dedicated at art or work or writing but that's why I have gotten nowhere every year, because I neglect myself. During 2013 there were times when I thought I was attractive, but like falling leaves those single moments got lost in the clutter.Why do we let the small, beautiful things, and positive qualities and ideal moments pass us by so frequently and yet so unobserved or appreciated?
This is my New Year resolution, myself, my small moments, my inner peace and self love, I want to appreciate the little things in me and about me, so that I can see this photo every time I look in the mirror.
Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and look forward to the New Year, no matter what is to come.
WELCOME TO THE LIFE OF ME
